Finding Strength in Suffering

“You desire to know the art of living, my friend? It is contained in one phrase: make use of suffering”

Henry Frederic Amiel

I began my career as an electrical engineer.

My first assignment was a billion-dollar construction project with a three-year deadline, located in Kuwait. So I was pulled out of the comfort of my homeland and was thrust into a completely different lifestyle.

Life was tough there. As a site engineer exposed to the elements, I had to endure temperatures from -5 to 50+ degrees Celsius (22 to 122 degrees Fahrenheit); as it was a project with a short deadline, I never got weekends off; as I was away from my family, I was traumatized by the emotional isolation. It was the toughest time of my life.

At first, it was a shock, to say the least. I felt overwhelmed. But when I met engineers working for over 30 years in these dire circumstances, I realized that people could get used to them. If I went with the flow, I might end up in their shoes.

I was depressed.

Motivation from a movie

Around that time, I watched the movie Undisputed III: Redemption. If you haven’t seen it, it is a martial arts thriller where jail inmates compete in a fighting competition. The winner earns his freedom.

The protagonist Yuri Boyka—a convicted felon—and his friend and fellow fighter Jericho “Turbo” Jones are punished with hard labor. When Yuri breaks down, Jericho tells him, “Either you can see this as punishment or as training.” Yuri nodes. He takes his friend’s advice and uses his suffering to prepare for the upcoming tournament. He walks out free in the end(Oops, spoiler alert).

I was impressed.

I understood that sometimes we have no choice but to endure suffering. But the best among us draw inspiration from it.

Deriving inspiration from suffering

This idea motivated me. I decided to take some drastic steps to change my fate.

First, I set a goal of returning home within three years. It seemed far-fetched at the time. But I believed in myself.

Second, I worked hard every day to acquire new skills and searched avidly for jobs back home. It was not easy to do this every day after 10 hours of grueling work. But I clenched my fists, pried open my heavy eyelids, and kept at it.

Third, and most important, I tried to stay positive. I saw the hardships as an experiment on how much pain I could endure. This inspired me to push forward.

I was on the right path. The only thing I lacked was motivating background music.

Tackling Suffering

Are you afraid of suffering? Here are some thoughts that kept me motivated:

Suffering builds a strong character

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.

Khalil Gibran

Think of Nelson Mandela, who spent 27 years in prison. Or of Mahatma Gandhi, who endured torture but stuck to his philosophy of non-violence and led India to freedom. These leaders are who they are because of what they went through and how they endured it.

Give up the notion of shortcuts

Morgan Housel, in his book Same As Ever, reinforces the “…allure and danger of shortcuts”. To make his point, Housel recounts the story of Donner party‘s disastrous exodus to California. Lansford Hastings, the guide, decided to take the shortcut through Utah which resulted in the mishap. Instead of reducing a couple of days, it added a month to the journey which left them stranded in the winter.

Housel concludes the chapter thus: “A simple rule that is obvious but easy to ignore is that nothing worth pursuing is free…everything has a price. And the price is usually proportional to the potential rewards. But there is rarely a price tag.”

In other words, we can’t escape suffering. If you want to enjoy the ecstasy of the mountain top, you have to endure the pain of climbing it.

Find your ‘why’ to live

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”

Nietzsche

Writing about life in a Nazi concentration camp, Viktor Frankl points out something curious. Only those with a goal survived. Others were driven to insanity, starvation, and suicide.

Therefore, it’s crucial to have a purpose in life. It will get you through the tough times.

However, sometimes we create a hell for ourselves and dwell in it. Because of false assumptions, miscommunication, mental illness, and so on we suffer. This is unnecessary. With some effort and support, we can overcome them.

The fire that molds

Ok, back to my story.

My three action plans helped me grow professionally. I believe Kuwait life was the only time I grew exponentially in my 13-year-long career. I learned new skills, improved communication, and vastly stretched my pain threshold.

In time, with relentless search and my newly formed skills, I found a job. I came back home in 2 years, 11 months, and 12 days; with 18 days to spare for my goal of 3 years.

In retrospect, life in Kuwait took me out of my comfort zone, changed my perspective, and even shaped my future career as a writer.

This taught me a valuable lesson: suffering is a prerequisite to growth.

And it’s a lesson that I cherish. I’m grateful.

Do you have any such experiences in life? Feel free to share them in the comment box below.