Do you dare to love?

Are you happy in life?

This is an intrusive and inconvenient question. Many, including me, prefer to dodge it with incomprehensible philosophical and spiritual jargon. But let me be honest here: I am not. And I believe our society is not as well.

Despite being a race striding forward economically and scientifically, we are becoming more and more unhappy. Even depressed. We are more wealthy, more educated, and less in fear of fatal illness, compared to our forefathers. 

Even amidst this prosperity, why are we paranoid and melancholic?

One of the reasons may be the insecurity we face due to the growing hatred in ourselves and society. Political parties ridicule and despise others, religions detest each other, capitalists hate communists, natives hate immigrants, and so on. 

But why?

An unlikely motivator

The enemy is fear. We think it is hate, but really it is fear.

Gandhi

There may be historical, religious, and racial reasons for the rift between people. Many find comfort in them. But these external factors apart, what is the core reason for hate?

Eminent thinkers assert it is fear. It seems counterintuitive at first because the haters don’t fit the type to hide in a corner shaking with fear. They seem belligerent. Most are disrespectful, violent, and unkind, if not cruel.

However, fear is the one common factor that inspires all hate. We see it everywhere. Nazis were afraid that Jews would multiply and take their fatherland, natives fear the alien nature and behavior of immigrants, racists fear that other races are savages who would dilute their pure bloodline, and politicians oppress dissent in the fear that they would be toppled from their thrones. Even secular societies are divided by Islamophobia, antisemitism, and homophobia. 

Thus on closer look, we see that our fear fuels our hate. In other words, hatred is the outcome of cowardice. 

Science behind hate

Is there any scientific evidence for this claim?

Yes, there is. Brain scientists have found evidence to prove that hate is the by-product of fear. When in danger, our amygdala activates our response circuits to prepare for fight or flight. Once we identify the source of the threat, we feel anger towards it. If we are powerless to act against the source—our enemy—it slowly solidifies into revenge. 

In essence, fear triggers hatred.

Dealing with Fear

If so, how can we extinguish fear?

1. Weed out propagators of fear

Politicians and religious leaders put on the mask of courage and pose as strong men. But they propagate fear to keep their followers in line. Stay away from them and their ideologies.

2. Overcome ignorance

 “Misunderstanding arising from ignorance breeds fear, and fear remains the greatest enemy of peace.”

– Lester B. Pearson

Through millions of years of evolution, it is coded in our brains to be cautious of the unfamiliar. We fear the unknown. The only way to overcome this fear is to learn more about the unknown. Religions can get together in peace, and people from all colors, creeds and political alliances can mingle. Thus creating an environment to know the other better.

3. Love

Haven’t you wondered how ordinary people perform extraordinary acts of courage and rescue their loved ones from danger? The answer is love. 

 “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”

1 John 4:18

Neuroscience says that the brain circuitry of love, when activated, steals the stage from the fear circuits, calming it down. So love is the best antidote for fear.

The courage to love

A life lived in fear is miserable. Anguishing at times. It is accentuated by the hatred it brews. Hatred, by its very nature, poisons us and spreads to society. Unfortunately, hatred is now raging like wildfire. 

To curb the spreading of hatred, we should develop courage. Courage to say no to politics of hate. To ignorance. And ultimately, the courage to love.

It is not easy. But if we yearn to live a life of happiness and peace, it is necessary.

Thank you for reading. Please post your opinions in the comment box below.