Return to office: An odyssey

It might have been half past three when the news was confirmed. Though we knew the storm clouds were gathering and getting darker, the final confirmation was difficult to handle. It made me burst into tears. I have not been this depressed since Trump became president.

It is not possible, I thought. How can this be? Why is this happening to me?

Looking back, I understand that I was in the denial—the first of the five phases of grief. It is difficult for our minds to conceive crushing news. Only by progressing through stages do we come to grapple with reality.

This is the story of how I got back to reality and came to accept the inevitable.

Oh, I forgot to tell you about the catastrophe: I was required to work from the office! Yeah, can you believe that? After so many years of cozy work-from-home, whoop, I have to be present at the office. Just like that.

Sweet times

Before I recount my story, let me tell you this first. You guys might have been hearing about working from home since the pandemic. But my story is different.

Since my heroic return from the sand-melting heat of the middle east, I have been working from home. That is since 2017. Yes, I had been unemployed for some part of it. Yes, I had to use all my negotiation skills with my employer(s) to facilitate it. But my point is: I never had to step out for work.

To be frank, I am more of a fan of right-wing majoritarianism in India than working from the office. As a child, I hated going to school every day. I am not lazy, I am just built differently. While I am highly productive (ask my manager) at home, I lose myself in the bustle of the office. Even the prospect of traveling to the office every day makes me motion sick.

So you can imagine how the new order would affect me. But I doubt you know enough to understand it fully. This is the inner workings of all office haters. Oh yes, we have a fraternity. How else will you support each other in a crisis like this?

To give you an idea of what went through, I am giving you an entry pass into my mind.

Fair warning: Don’t go to the darkest corners. You don’t want to see what lurks there.

Phase one: Denial

Cling… (Confirmation mail comes in)

Are you kidding me? I have to be in the office! What is this?! Some kind of a joke?

No, no no. This should be just a routine email that management sends to the employees. They are not serious about this. They focus on some idiots who obey everything their manager orders. Sorry, I am not one of them.

Let the idiots go to the office. I am not going to move an inch.

But why did they do this?

Phase two: Anger

This is just stupid. Who made this decision anyway? It would be that idiot new boss. This has got to be the stupidest decision of the decade. For my money, it beats the demonitisation of 2016.

Why would companies want to bring back the employees to the office anyway? If it is work from home, they do not have to spend money on infrastructure and the employees do not have to relocate or spend money and time on every day commute. It is a kind of win-win situation.

And who has the authority to pull me out of my comfort zone? After all, I am very productive. Why does it matter where I am working from?

No one can make me work from the office if I do not want to. Sorry, Mr. CEO, you are messing with the wrong guy (evil grin).

Phase three: Bargaining

I will talk to my supervisor. He is a reasonable man.

Oh, he is trying to entice me into coming to the office. Office parties? Nice library? Cafeteria? This won’t work, sir. I am too stubborn.

Salary cuts? Oh, now he is trying to threaten me. I have worked for lower and even no salaries. If they play that card, I will resign and find another job. Besides, this is my fifth job in ten years. So changing jobs is second nature to me.

Phase four: Depression

Well, my resume is rusty. I’ll tweak it a bit.

(a few hours later)

Why is this taking so much time? This is frustrating.

(a few more hours later)

Ooook, this looks good. Let me start applying for jobs. Oh, there are so many. Wait, this was posted 3 months ago. This one looks good. Oh darn! they have filled the post. Why the hell are these guys paying so low?

My country’s economy is booming. We are marching towards our PM’s promise of a 5-trillion economy. But what happened to all these jobs? Why are people struggling to make ends meet?

Why do I have this sinking feeling in my gut?

Phase five: Acceptance

You know what, my firm is not so bad. After all, we are a good team. And the work is also enjoyable. I can travel 10 kilometers and reach there. But it is only for 3 days per week.

Moreover, the cafeteria, library, and other facilities are going to waste if no one is using them. As someone committed to the firm, I have the privilege, nay the responsibility, to utilize them.

Let me show my face and get over with it.

Aftermath

Life is a complex game. We think we will never give up some privileges, ever. But our most adamant decisions change as soon as the new email notification chimes in our mobile phones.

Is everything that happens to us justified? No, I don’t think so. But the grinding experiences smooth out our rough edges and shapes us into a faceted gem. Thus we attain clarity.

This phase I am now in, is called philosophizing.

Thank you for reading. You can post your comments below.