“No, not now!” I told Tobias.

He whined.

“You just ate. You can’t play now,” I tried to convince him.

He became restless.

“You can play in 15 minutes. Trust me.”

That was it. He snapped and leapt at me. Finally, I had to confine him.

Why can’t he understand that running after a full meal can spell disaster? It can cause cramps, stomach aches, and indigestion. If he waits, he can play as he pleases. Why doesn’t he get that?

Well, of course, Tobias is a Golden Retriever. His intellect has its limitations. From his view, it is playtime. He wants to run madly behind a ball, fetch it, and repeat.

What fun does he get from this anyway? I’ve no clue.

Even if he can’t understand the problems of running on a full stomach, he could still trust me, a more intelligent being who cares about his well-being.

Hypocrite.

Him? No—me.

I’ll tell you why. The truth is that I am as impatient as Tobias—perhaps more. I want to finish a task and step straight on to the podium to collect the prize. When results elude me, I get frustrated.

The Tobias in Me

The Tobias episode was a light bulb moment that illuminated a pattern in myself. Think about it. I want him to trust me because I believe I am more evolved than him. By the same logic, shouldn’t I trust the universe, which is infinitely wiser than I am?

But no. I try to control everything, fail miserably, and hence suffer endlessly.

Let me give you an example.

Imagine that I am expecting a job promotion. I believe I am eligible, I am confident in my skills, and I dream of the opportunities that the new role would bring. But it doesn’t happen. Days give way to weeks, even months.

1 month passes. 2 months. 6 months. 8 months. Nothing.

I get frustrated.

I question the competence of my seniors, the legitimacy of the promotion process, and with a clenched fist raised to the heavens, I rage against the Universe.

All this makes me more desperate and my situation becomes worse. I could instead wait patiently, trusting the timing and intelligence of the infinite. After all, it controls and choreographs billions of minute atoms and gigantic galaxies.

A Book that Changed My Perspective

I recently read The Surrender Experiment, the autobiography of Michael A. Singer. In it, he pours out his astounding transformation from a hippie who lived alone in the woods to a successful entrepreneur running a multi-billion-dollar business. He says that all he did for this was surrender to the flow of life.

It felt almost like a fairy tale.

What started as an experiment to see how it would turn out if he allowed life to take the wheel culminated in transforming him from a homeless hippie to a carpenter to a professor to a builder to a computer programmer to a billionaire, and finally a spiritual guru. All because he surrendered.

Our problem is that modern life has programmed us to think that everything is at our fingertips. Sure, we can now make our room warm or cool, binge-watch any series, pick the delicacies we like for dinner, and so on.

We indeed have more control over our lives than the last generation.

But there are still limitations. Science and technology—with all its might and cleverness—have not made us omnipotent. In many ways, we are still the same animals, fighting the forces of nature.

But we cling to an illusion of control that is almost toxic. Once we give that up, we would be humble enough to surrender to the will of the universe. It would create miracles.

Surrender to the Flow

In a famous study—which culminated in a best-selling book The God Formula—by researcher Jeffrey Martin, the effects of visualization and the law of attraction are studied in depth. Astonishingly, Dr. Martin concludes the book saying that visualization works, but it is the least effective method for manifestation.

Guess which one is the most effective. Yes, it is surrender!

“Essentially, they [people who surrender] stop wanting to mess things up with their own intent, once they’ve realized how good things can be when ‘in the flow.'” —Jeffrey Martin, The God Formula

Surrender allows life to flow without resistance from our limited and biased preferences. It gifts us what we truly deserve—which is usually much bigger than what we desire.

Relax and Let Go

But what about the pain and sorrow? How to surrender to that?

Yes, tough times can be brutal. The truth is, the more we resist pain, the more we suffer. Like a toddler who squirms when she sees the needle, we fear the pains of life. But just as a vaccination is necessary for the baby, pain is inevitable for our growth. Struggling only makes things worse. If we let go, life takes us through them like a loving mother.  

Moreover, like Tobias, we might be oblivious of the subtle factors at play. Maybe we will never know them. So isn’t it then better to trust that infinite intelligence?

So if you are waiting—for a cure, for a goal, for the right person, for the opportunity you deserve—do what is to be done, and let go.

Trust the flow and live free.

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