An Alien Walked into My Home…

I was bemused, even suspicious.

Alien? Really?

He looked like a human to me. But there was something in his actions—the way he sat too rigidly, the wild gestures while he spoke, and the precarious way he held the cup while drinking tea—that looked abnormal.

Either he is nuts or he is what he says he is.

“So,” I broke the silence at last. “You say you came to Earth, camouflaged as one of us, to study primitive cultures?”

“Yes,” he said. “There is a lot to learn from uncivilized groups.”

“Uncivilized?!” I got fired up. How dare he label us uncivilized!

“Yes.” He said, coolly. “You seem like a good specimen to answer a couple of my questions.” He pulled out a thick questionnaire from a bag-like carrier and looked at me expectantly. “Would you?”

“Okay, I guess”. I said hesitantly.

“Great, here is the first one: Why do you draw arbitrary and imaginary lines and fight over them?”

“What?!”

“Oh, let me rephrase it. Why do you divide borderless Earth into countries using some lines and kill each other over them?” He leaned over.

I was silent for a moment.

“Well, I don’t have an answer to that. Maybe we just love to fight over something.”

He scribbled.

“Second,” He sat up straight again, “Why do you guys poison your own food?”

“Hey, stop right there. We don’t poison our food.” I was indignant.

He smiled, “You use poisonous chemicals as pesticides and fertilizers to kill your fellow beings you call pests. These cause diseases to you too.”

He paused but was not done yet.

“The funniest part is that you sell some food at a high price with the label “Natural”. Just write “Not poisoned, yet”. But why?”

I thought for a couple of minutes.

“Our selfishness. We want to eliminate all competition and keep the food to ourselves. This makes us blind to the harm it does to us.”

“Good observation.” he noted that down.

“Next, why are humans always dissatisfied?”

“Would you care to explain that?”

“Sure. I see constant dissatisfaction among everyone. Money, relationships, health, career, appearance, you name it; most of you will be dissatisfied with all these. Humans always look to the person who is more privileged and lament their fate. A few are grateful for what they have.” He started to seem a bit animated.

“You are right, we are always dissatisfied. Maybe it is the way we are programmed by God.”

“Oh yes, God.” He smiled. “That is a topic on its own. But can you answer just one question? All the religions speak of love and kindness. Yet the die-hard believers hate others with all their hearts, leading to violence and bloodshed. Why?”

“Well, religion is not to blame for that. The followers forget its essence and succumb to blind faith.”

“Hmm.” He looked serious now.

“Here is another: you work day and night to make money and then waste it on buying unnecessary stuff. Stuff you don’t use. In my studies, I found that most people do not use even 10 percent of things more than once. Why can’t you spend less, work less, and live a relaxed life?”

I fidgeted. Shopaholism is my undoing.

“Well for one, the capitalistic economy won’t let us. Second, we live to show off and to keep up with the Jones.” I replied honestly.

“Is it the same reason, I mean to show off, that you are willing to spend so much money in the gym, but won’t climb stairs to get to a single floor?”

“No, actually that is…I don’t know, idiocy may be!” I scratched the back of my neck.

He chuckled. He seemed to enjoy putting me through these uncomfortable questions.

“Another question I have is why humans are busy all the time. Mostly you don’t do anything worth doing. You sit around scrolling through your mobile phones. But you never find the joy of solitude.”

I thought for some time. “I don’t know. That’s the way we are.”

“No worries. I know you won’t be able to answer all my questions. Shall I go to the next one?”

“Okay.” I squirmed. The old chair creaked.

“You occupy the whole of the earth and push the multitude of other living beings to a confined space. You spread the earth like cancer. Constructing roads, skyscrapers, and so on, you make your life comfortable.”

He paused; maybe for dramatic effect.

“You don’t think about the natural habitat and the comfort of any other being. Why can’t you just live in harmony with Mother Nature?”

I was astounded. How can he put such facts so bluntly?

“Well, I guess we are primitive and uncivilized after all.”

He looked deeply into my eyes. I looked down.

With that, there was a whoosh. He stood up suddenly.

“That’s my ride.” Without another word, he went out and closed the door behind him.

I wanted to look through the window to see where he went. But I was glued to my chair, deep in thoughts.

Moreover, it now felt better to look back at my life than look out through the window.